Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Playing: The Last Door: Chapter 1

I found the last door on armor games, but noticed right off that they have their own website with the rest of their content. thelastdoor.com. You have to register to play it on the developer's webpage, but there's more content available on there, so you won't regret signing up. The game comes as a series of chapters. This is one of those times when you get to experience something a little more old fashioned than the internet usually provides... waiting.

This game is like one of those old fashioned radio shows your grandparents used to listen to. It's spooky, but not scary. It sort of creeps you out slowly until you get a shock. Then everything slows down again. Each shock being a little more shocking than the last.

The game is done up in bit graphics. It gives a nostalgic feel and you don't get any of the adobe flash lag that you sometimes get with visually appealing games. The visuals are still creepy though. From the very beginning title screen when the raven is shuffling around, you can tell that this is a game that is still going to keep you weirded out even without hi-res graphics.

The game doesn't disappoint, and I'm not going to spoil it, but I'll say this much... I'm pretty sure I hate birds.

I'd suggest you check out their page, maybe even donate to the kick starter. They have an area on their page, where if you've donated enough, they can add your character into a special version of the game! The game is also available on their website, where you can not only check out your own character they make for you, but you can see the other generous contributors and immediately be part of a virtual community where you will forever be bonded with strangers.

Take a look at the game.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Playing Dildo Hills 2

So I'm on armor games, checking out the new flash games and I see Dillo Hills 2. I've been on here for a while and I didn't know there was a Dillo Hills 1. I checked it out, apparently there is one made a couple years back. So this is the long awaited sequel to another game I've never heard of.

Here's a video of me playing that game for a half hour. You'll get the idea how slow and painful powering up is in this game too. There's really no way to make money any faster, even if you're good. You pretty much just curve up a little bit at the beginning and then the rest of the upgrades are slower and further in between and meaning less each time.  The only upgrade that is worth getting is control and that one gets expensive real quick. So, if you want to progress faster, you might as well just watch my video in fast forward.

I hope you enjoy watching me play the game more than I enjoyed playing it.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Bait and Switch

This game is a unique twist on bass master. Instead of catching the bass and marveling in the size of it, you blast wave after wave of aquatic jerks into oblivion. The game is made by Poponga and available (at least) on armorgames.com.

Here's a couple screenshots of the game, although you might want to watch my YouTube video to get an idea of what the later levels are like before you play it. Also, you can see if you beat my score of 2,870,135 (I did die five times though).

There's also a survival mode you can play after you beat the game, where you play until your inevitable deat at the hands of millions of exploding fish and piranha. There are also these enemies that look like killer whales.

Check it out. You can play the game here: Bait and Switch

Monday, October 28, 2013

Samsara Room

Every now and then you have to treat yourself to something trippy. Samsara Room fulfills that requirement in the food pyramid of weird. It's a typical point, click, story progresses room-escape. The goal of the game is to become enlightened.

The first thing you see is this nice living room setup with a little phone table. You feel like you're being invited over to have lunch or something, so you press the "play" button expecting to see some happy-jolly shit, when instead are greeted by a dark screen with ominous white font that says, "I woke up in a room I never have seen before. My head hurts and I feel dead inside." While that is still coming into focus, there is a horrible sound that I can only imagine would feel like having a knife jabbed into your stomach while your murderer stares in your eyes. Pretty intense. The game is telling you right away that you're gonna get scared.

This is how I feel without my coffee.

Now that your spooking out, the dark screen fades back into the living room scenery again. You're staring at an old grandfather clock. Not scary at all. Just like here you go again, we're gonna put you back into this place until we're ready to scare you again. The game does have its weird parts, and while it did make me think, there were only a couple spooky parts.

The upside down lizard man room.

Is grandpa off of his meds again?
Bizarre fish necromancy.

I'm hoping this messes with your head.

This game is very interesting, and at least worth a shot. You may miss the ten minutes of your life it takes you to beat this game, or you might find enlightenment. You can play it here at armor games.

Also, I've posted a walkthrough I made, available on my YouTube Channel and viewable below.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Touch It... Go Ahead... You Know You Want To

I've never been very good with that fine tune mouse control. You can tell from the drawing at the top of my YouTube page, which I drew myself using just the mouse in Windows Paint application. I gotta say... it's pretty freaking hard. Sure it starts off easy, but around level 6, the thing just gets ridiculous. As you progress from one stage to another, you're constantly challenged with progressively more difficult levels. I know that's how most games go, but this game manages to bring new levels of insane with each step forward you take.

Now granted, I didn't understand the control fully until level 9. Up until then I thought you couldn't touch the walls without dying. It turns out, it's just the red stuff you have to avoid. After I ditched that handicap, I figured it was smooth sailing... and it was... until level 15. Just look at this level! There is no place at all to just rest the mouse while you plan your next move.

What are those things? Darth Maul's butter knives?
If you're looking for a unique and challenging game, that will up your skill with your mouse, this is it. Check it out. If you get stuck, you can also watch my walkthrough video on my YouTube Channel or below.

Friday, October 25, 2013

Me and the Key Three

I like playing flash puzzle games. It's like taking a short IQ test. I just made a walk through for this fun flash game by bontegames. I'd recommend giving this short puzzler game a try.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

The Legend of Zelda

This start screen and music is nothing short of iconic.

Not the best grammar, but the story is clear enough.
Gannon is the bad guy...
Something about a Triforce...
Zelda was kidnapped...
Something else about a Triforce...
Link has to save her.

I think this is the best technique for taking this guy out.
Seriously, I bet you've never thought of it.

On each level, you find a piece of the Triforce.

Link and Zelda with the Triforces of wisdom and power.

Not a lot of franchises have held up to the test of time like the Zelda series. With the exception of Adventures of Link and the CD-I's Zelda: Wand of Gamelon (Angry Video Game Nerd did reviews on both of them), just about every Zelda game has been an iconic and innovative game.

In honor of the series, I replayed the game, recording the locations of the levels and the boss fights. If I need to spoiler alert you of the ending for The Legend of Zelda, you're reading the wrong blog.

The game is challenging, but not ridiculous. I used to remember the blue knights being the most difficult enemy in the game, but after the replay, I realized it's damn blue wizards. They phase all over the place, they're movement is erratic, and if you're unlucky enough to line up straight up on one while you're shooting at him, they just start firing that spell wave at you like it's going out of style. One of the only times in the game I needed to have the old lady's potion was level 6... just for these douche bags.


I'd really like to bring your attention to my cool tactic for the level 3 boss. I'm pretty sure it's a good tactic that not a lot of you thought of. Just to set me straight though, I'd like to know if I was able to discover a new trick on an old game.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Match-Three Puzzlers: Triple Town and Pixel Defenders Puzzle

Triple Town

Triple Town is a match three puzzle game, where you place game pieces down that combine into more complex pieces. The goal is to make the biggest city you can before you run out of space on the board. While the description of the game is accurate in it's simplicity, I've got a game play video that should give you a better idea of how fun this game is. This is one of those games that "you'll need a strong support group of friends to get you to stop playing". I wish you the best of luck in life if you attempt to play this game and think you can stop.

This cute little game has addictive game play, the weirdest sound effects, and the cutest antagonists... da bears. If you can't get enough of these cute little board hogs, check out the Triple Town t-shirts zazzle has for sale.

Pixel Defenders Puzzle, I'm not gonna lie to you is straight up ripped off from Triple Town, just like Candy Crush Saga is taken from Bejeweled Blitz. They are the same puzzle game, but so much more dynamic.Candy Crush added some walls and shit, but this game added a whole other game that could not have been possible without the Triple Town puzzle style. Both of these guys, Spry Fox and these other like nobodies - just this group thrown together,

No like production team name, just two dudes and a chick who make games while Dare to Oppress has band practice. Oh, by the way, while we were hanging out we only made like one of the most challenging and rewarding puzzle games you'll ever play. These guys even have a support page, but like no programming team name. Like... who am I suppose to call if I'm in trouble.

So it's like this, the enemy gets your guys, you're defeated. You mess up on the puzzle, you're defeated. You walk out that door without eating a bologna sandwich you're done. There is like no way to keep it together on the later levels. You are going to lose, and when you do, you'll learn, and you'll go right back at it. You're gonna hit it so hard its insides burst. You are better now than you ever could have been without this game.

Basically, I'm saying the game provides a rewarding challenge in a volume that few games achieve.

So you should enjoy these games. Triple Town will make a nice "waiting in line" game on your phone, and Pixel Defenders Puzzle is more likely going to sear itself onto the inside of your head.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Flow - iPhone and Android Puzzle Game

This addictive puzzle game gives you a series of colored dots you connect to complete consecutively more difficult boards. to make it a little more challenging, you have to use all the space on the board too.

This game is a little like the Lightcycle game from Tron crossed with any other Tetris style game. With tons of maps, even in the free version, this game will keep you occupied for a long time.

Also, since the levels are short, you can use it as a momentary diversion just about anywhere: in line at the bank, DMV, traffic jam, or during sex... Pretty much anytime you have a couple minutes you're not doing anything important.